Bribery ... a nasty word for a handy tool

Have you ever spoken to someone who says that they would NEVER bribe their child into behaving? Well let me tell you, I have and it seems to me that there are a couple of things that these "types" have in common. Either 1. Their children cannot yet walk or talk (whining is not really whining if you cannot understand the general message) or 2. Their children are still theoretical ... and naturally their parenting will be highly evolved by the time they have to deal situations where us common-folk resort to bribery.

I know this because I was once an almost-parent and went on to pass even more judgement on the parenting skills of others back when I became a new parent and my little dude's only rebellion consisted of spitting up on his freshly washed onesie, so I do not fault any of these "types" ... it is a natural progression and their time for eating crow will come about two and a half years after they cross over into parentdom.

AN EXAMPLE TO PROVE MY FORMER IGNORANCE:

I remember back when my neice was two and my little dude was just about one ... at the time I thought that the "terrible twos" were something that were within a parents' control and that my son would NEVER act out, and certainly not in public! My poor sister would buy her daughter off with the promise of a Dora episode or an icecream and I would smile sweetly while secretly vowing that these tactics would not be part of my unique parenting style.

Then a year later my little dude turned two and it was suddenly apparent to me that my sister was an amazing mother, and I desperately needed her help to find out what tricks she found most effective when bribing her toddler who was starting to act more rational as she got a little older. To this day I wheel and deal with both of my children in a grand attempt to keep them on the "will babysit list" with local teens in my neighbourhood.

WISE WORDS FROM A PRO:

The topic of bribery came up in a conversation with my mom (supermom of four) awhile back and she said that every time she took my brother out when he was a toddler she would buy his good behaviour with a Hot Wheels car ... a fact that makes me laugh because my brother has gone through life with a reputation for being a kid that never caused any problems and if you go into my parents' basement there are probably 200 Hot Wheels cars that DO NOT belong to his three older sisters!!! :o)

TIP FOR PARENTS OF POST TODDLERS:

I do have a modified-bribery tip for those of you who have young school aged children who have learned the cause and effect lesson that you were trying to teach them with "good behaviour treats" as a toddler and now need to learn that good things come to those who wait. Try getting your little person to set a goal of something that s/he REALLY wants (within reason) and have them complete chores and tasks to work towards getting it.

For example my little dude is a HUGE Calgary Flames fan and an even bigger Dion Phaneuf (Flames defenseman) fan, so my husband and I made a deal with him that once he had earned it we would take him to buy a Phaneuf jersey (Jersey = $200 shirt for a 6 year old!!!! He needed to work for this one!) So he started off with $25 that he had gotten for his birthday and did chores like feeding the dog, making his bed or keeping an eye on his sister and cousin in the basement when we had company for $1-$3 per task (watching monkey girl is worth a little more than feeding our pooch) until he had enough to buy the jersey. It took just over two months and we tracked his progress on our fridge calendar. Good behaviour was rewarded, lots of extra stuff around the house got done after only one ask and the best part was how proud he was when he got his jersey. This may have been my first WIN-WIN agreement ever!