Little monsters

Arghhh ... I love my kids, I love my kids, I love my kids.

This was what I kept saying in my head as I rode into work this morning. It is not that I need to tell myself that I love my kids to make it so, it is just that some days are harder than others when it comes to parenting them.

I often find myself saying the same things over and over and over again, and I'm not sure if it is that they aren't listening or that they just don't care. Either way it is not good for my sanity and even my hubby has noticed lately that I seem to be losing my mind ... he actually told me this morning that the last couple of weeks have been worrisome to him because it has been understood for the duration of our 14 years together that he was in charge of the mind-losing department and I was the one who presided over balance and calm.

One would think that having someone you love tell you that you have a history of being balanced and calm would make you smile and swell with pride ... not me, this revelation sent me into a blubbering puddle of tears praying to God that my sanity would return so I could reclaim my post as the balanced one.

Last night I was talking to my mom about this and I said that the worst part about parenting challenges, especially when you are at work all day, is that you spend your whole day missing your kids like crazy and then when you finally get them all to yourself the mayhem begins. It makes my heart sick to think that they may wonder if all I do is yell.

In a perfect world kids would figure it out that if they if they listened all the time they would NEVER get in trouble ... isn't that an attractive option?!

These are the things that have sent me over the edge recently (please feel free to comment and tell me to settle the heck down) ...

Trials and tribulations of a little dude ...

My little dude is the sweetest little boy when it comes to most things, he is thoughtful, considerate, gentle, protective, and cautious (unless there is something where speed is involved). He lets the dog out and opens the car door for me every morning and he goes to bed when we ask him to ... for the most part he is quite delightful. The "dark side" to the little dude is that lately he needs to be doing something awesome and exciting at all times or he gets totally miserable.

For example, this past weekend we bought both of the kids a Nintendo DS - it seemed a little extravagant at first but it was a reward for being good (see list preceding "dark side"), and there was a bit of strategy involved as we are about to embark on a summer holiday that will involve A LOT of driving - so anyway, the little dude absolutely loved it (as did monkey girl) and the best part was that it was a total surprise. Life was good ... a new DS, a ball hockey tournament and a party with friends all in one weekend, woo hoo!

We thought that letting him buy his game on Sunday (with the $ that he had made Saturday helping his uncle) would be a great opportunity to fill the final day of the weekend with something exciting. So on Sunday afternoon, a very tired little dude became frustrated with his new game because he thought that I was winning (we were playing Super Mario Brothers and each of us was one brother) and he got completely miserable! Now I know that he was just frustrated because he was trying to learn something new, coupled with the fact that he is intensely competitive (which admittedly is a trait he got from his mother) - but the horrible mood that it sent him into was absolutely ridiculous. Finally we just had to have him put the game away and continue his sulking in silence.

I realize that I could have let it go, but it really irked me that after all the great things that he had experienced that weekend he was choosing to end it on such a bad note. So I ranted and raved about how lucky he was to have so much when there were others who had so little and told him that he needed to just turn his frown upsidedown (yes, I really said that) and be pleasant.

The result: he cried and apologized and I felt like the wicked witch of the southwest (we live in the southwest) for losing it. He is only six afterall, and we were all tired from a busy couple of days.

After this rollercoaster of emotion on Sunday, I promised to start fresh on Monday and then after dinner came and it was like history repeating itself.

Fun, fun, fun .... BANG - miserable kid.

I don't even know what happened. We had ridden our bikes, looked at puppies at the pet store, had ice cream for dessert ... it seemed as though we were on track for a happy ending to the day and then there were tears at bedtime (enhanced by the exact same conversation that we had had the day before ... ARGHHHH!!!!)

So today we have started fresh again and I have vowed to not raise my voice to the kids all day ... even if it requires me to go out and sit in my truck and scream just to get it out of my system.

Wish me luck.

Stubborn Monkey

Now monkey girl is also a wonderful child. She is bright and funny, she is mischievous yet sweet, she dances to whatever is on the radio and she knows when you need a hug. A great kid to say the least .... until bedtime that is.

Putting monkey girl to bed is a task like no other. Every night we read stories, give kisses and hugs and put the kids to bed at about 9:00 (this is their summer bedtime, 8:30 in the school year). They have to be up early so we really try to keep to the schedule during the week. However, monkey girl has a completely different agenda. She does not want to miss anything and has taken it upon herself to stay up as late as she possibly can every single night. Even when you think that she ought to be exhausted, she will pull out the special reserves and you can hear her playing in her room until at least 10:00. I always said that as long as she was just playing quietly it was not the end of the world, at least she was in her room. However the newest addition to her bedtime act is that she cries, she cries for: hugs, pee breaks, snacks, juice (no!!!), fear of bees and monsters and a variety of other things that I am too exhausted to list.

Two nights ago I went into her room over a dozen times before finally losing my mind!

If we close the door, she opens it. If we go downstairs to get away from the crying, she stands at the top of the stairs and bellows, if we yell, she yells louder ... it really is a frustrating problem because there is no apparent solution that does not involve sleeping with her.

Last night I finally just laid down with her until she started dozing off because I could NOT bear the thought of spending anymore energy running back and forth between the livingroom and her bedroom ... at 10:30!!!

Then magically overnight she becomes a pleasant little snugglebug again and we start each new day with hopes of a happy ending at bedtime.

The thing is ...

Usually there is some balance where behaviour issues are concerned, and I am okay when dealing with one disaster at a time, but when tag-teamed with separate issues I am finding myself to be less solid and am seriously considering removing the word multi-tasker from my resume. I just want my kids to know that I love them, and behave so that I can show them more often instead of yelling and banging my head against the wall.

I know that there will be bigger issues ahead (ie: adolesence) and I will look back and wonder why I thought this part was so hard ... but for now this is where I am, frustrated and in love ... it's like high school all over again.

All I can say for sure is that it is a good time to be going on holidays ... I think we all need a good dose of fun family time to put things into perspective.

I love my kids.

Watch for another post the week of August 11th ... I am sure that I will have some good stories after 15 nights of family fun in the trailer!!! :o)