Mind your manners mommy

Back when I was a brazen eighteen year old brat, I once had the gall to say to my dad ... "do as I say, not as I do RIGHT?!?!?" Obviously it was not a situation that was pretty but we have gotten over it with time and effort so I will not divulge the context in which it was used - anyone who knows my dad is probably impressed that I am even around to write this post after that type of blatant disrespect. Anyhoo, retribution reared its ugly head this past week when monkey girl schooled me, her mom, in manners.

I asked monkey girl to get into bed one night this week and she stood there and said, quite defiantly I might add, "Say please mommy!!!" to which I responded - rather unthoughtfully - with a "GET INTO BED NOW!". After some back and forth between the two of us she finally went to bed and I scurried off to watch the season premiere of NCIS(my favourite show)all bugged because I missed the opening credits - tragic, I know. The next day I noticed that she did the same thing when the little dude wanted her to move off of my stomach (each of my kids lay on my stomach for their pick of the nightly stories each night) ... she sat tight until he said please and then moved right over so they could switch places. After this I got to thinking that I don't think that I ever did break down and say please to her the night before. Which was followed by flashes of all of the times that I have refused to pass something or do something until I got a "please" or a "thank you" from her.

How many times have I uttered the words, "What do you say?" or "Use your manners" and I have not been taking my own advice when it comes to my kids, and they are the ones I am supposed to be setting the example for.

In a parent - child relationship there is this weird power differential that, though it is absolutely necessary in many ways, can be taken too far. We shouldn't ask our children to behave a certain way if we are not willing to set a proper example. We have been talking a lot in our house lately about the fact that respect is earned, not required. This is an interesting notion to keep in mind as a parent because our children DO have a choice as to whether or not they respect us and it is up to us to both earn and reciprocate that respect.

In short, I am now cognizant of my manners when talking to my children more so than I ever have been before. It is not that I never used to say please and thank you when talking to them but I never made it a rule. I even found myself saying, "PLEASE don't pick your nose and eat it" the other day. Oh, the things you never thought you would hear yourself say!!!

Signing off for another weekend of fence building and bottle driving ... ooh and hockey starts this weekend, I am officially a hockey mom - now that could make for some fun posts!

Check back next week for a funny story about "bum drums" ...